Sick to my stomach or 68 days

I know the ride is continuing to get closer and I know the amount of riding I have been doing is becoming less and less, but today, just now, it hit me and hard how close it is. I logged on to the main ride page, www.biketobeatcancer.org, and right there in front of me was something that literally made my stomach ache and my heart drop.

Event Countdown : 68 days!

68 days?!? That's it? That's all I have left to train myself from the 38 miles I've ridden on my farthest ride this year to 100 miles?!? 68 days to get my bike ready and my brain ready and my body ready?!? 68 days......just 68 days.......

I have a headaache now.

Excuses or valid reasons?

I've not been on my bike in too long. Mostly it's been because of the number of hours I've been working. The secondary reason has been weather but I'm starting to question whether the weather has been a valid reason or if it's just been an excuse. Has it really been to hot or have I just been lazy and fearful of what my next ride means?
I keep saying I'd like to try for 50-60 miles on my next ride. That is scary. That is 6 hours worth of time. That's stop to eat and refill water and drink riding. That's only half of the amount of mileage I’ll be fighting to complete in September. What if I fail? Am I afraid of failing at 50 and discouraging myself from the 100 or has it really been the weather?
So I looked back to see. I noticed that most of the days I had planned to ride had random thunderstorms. The others had 100+ degree heat indexes. There were very few I could have actually ridden safely and sanely, Especially that many miles at my level of fitness and experience. So was the weather a reason or an excuse?
It was a good reason to make an excuse because honestly.... I'm afraid to get out and ride and fail and let myself and everyone else down.

116 degree heat index?!?

I'm getting more and more worried that I won't be able to complete this century ride I signed up for. I've not had much time off lately. The time off I've had it's been raining/ popcorn storms, or like today: too hot to safely ride.
I've been cross training in the gym and doing spin and stationary training bike. But those are nowhere near the same thing. What am I going to do? I think I may be in over my head.

Stimulation

At the chiropractors office again. I am amazed that all this had helped my knee and shoulder so much. I've been able to start some light running again with very little pain! Muscle stimulation, traction, adjustments, physical therapy, and massage.
Was going to ride my bike to my appointment today but storms through the night took care of that. Plus there is a high chance of random storms today. Tomorrow looks clear though so I should be able to finally get some miles in then.

Seems so recent

It's been 9 years ago today since my mom passed away. Leukemia. A blood cancer. It's hard to believe it's been so long already. It still feels like it just happened. But honoring her memory and fight against cancer, as short as it was, has been one of my main driving forced for training for this ride and raising money to help find cures. Not treatments but CURES!

As I thought might happen

Since I announced I had made dedications of my upcoming 100 mile bike ride September 24 I have unfortunately had to add 3 more names to the roster of those battling cancer. Cancer sucks!!!!!!