31 miles up hill both ways

Today I got my bike out before anyone else in the house was awake and set out on a ride to hopefully get 30 miles in. I checked the temperature, 54 degrees, pants, long sleeve shirt, and short sleeve shirt. (The short sleeve shirt was mostly to break up the black on black and make me more visible while concealing the fat rolls that compression pants and shirt accentuate). Checked tire pressure, brake check, etc. On the road. I had to go to a different gas station that normal to get my power drink. The one I usually ride to is closed on Holidays) Now I was ready to go.
I had driven the course I was planning to take previously to see what kinds of hills I would be encountering, and get an idea of the mileage. This was my first time riding most of this ride. I set out with vigor and a smile on my face. I rode ten miles and stopped for a stretch and phone check. I was getting closer to my new section of road. Five more miles and I’d hit it. I knew that this new terrain would start with one hell of a long hill to climb. I hit it and hit it hard. I set a new record for keeping a bike upright at low speeds… 3.1 mph, but I made it. Flat land…up hill…..flat…up hill….up another hill…flat…..another damn up hill? I don’t remember all this uphill from when I drove it. Huff puff pedal. If I don’t get a downhill soon I may die!! Ahhhhh….flat flat flat…. Close enough. I made it!
I looked at my odometer and realized I hadn’t hit as many miles as I’d planned yet. Thinking of mileage (and wimping out and waiting to go down all the hills I’d just climbed for an easy ride home) I decided to changed the course I’d previously planned in my head and decided to double back what I had just ridden. A funny thing happened when I did that. It seems all the hills I had just ridden up had turned themselves around and instead of being hills to go down, they were still hills to climb. WTH! Apparently, what I had failed to see as I was priding myself on the pain of the first climb was that these hills were rolls. The downhill was not enough to feel on either side, but the climbs sure were. What had I done to myself? I pedaled and pedaled and pedaled some more. I panted and huffed and moaned and groaned. At one point I was even saying out loud “it hurts, it hurts” but I pedaled on anyway until I finally made it to a safe place I knew to stop and take another stretch. 22 miles done. Uh oh. I’m out of water. I still have 8 miles to go. That’s not good. Crap. Back to the gas station…more water, more sport drink. 28 miles. Home. 31 miles. What?!? 31 miles!!! Oh yeah!! I didn’t die! Though I think I only barely made it alive!!!
Excited from the triumph of heavy hills and 31 miles I celebrated by mowing the yard before heading to work. After the yard I went inside to shower. Taking off my shirt I noticed my skin was a bit red. No big deal. It is from being hot and having the material pressing tight against me. Showering, my skin gets a little redder. No big deal. It is from the hot hot water I used. Out of the shower I began to feel the “itch.” The "I have been in the sun all day and got burnt" itch. The “I’m not going to sleep tonight” itch. But how can that be? It’ll be fine. It’s my imagination. A couple hours later, at work, I realized it was no imaginary thing. My arms were super burnt. Red, flaming to the touch, mini blisters here and there burnt. Through my long sleeve shirt I had burnt!!! Sometimes being a redhead just isn’t fair, but accomplishing 31 miles was worth it.